I think what separates more successful and happy people from others is the simple fact that they had more courage to try to get what they want.
I’ve had many instances in my life where, when thinking back, I only got to where I am today because I had the courage to try.
I never really was the smartest, quickest, or best at anything - I would say I’m pretty average. But what I do a bit more than other people I know is turn towards the things I’m avoiding.
Let me explain what I mean.
We all have things we’re avoiding. Whether it’s with our family and friends, at work, or even with ourselves.
The more you lean into the things you’re avoiding and face your fears, the more you build the habit of approaching these situations with courage.
You can absolutely learn to have more courage.
I was afraid of flying - the only way I was able to overcome it was to face it.
I left my comfort zone every single time I switched jobs.
Same with taking on more responsibilities at work.
I was never really sure it was going to work, but I had the courage to try.
If I want something, I care about it and have the courage to risk not getting it. If you never try to get what you want, you’ll never get it. That’s just math.
We all know the Wayne Gretzky quote I’m resisting adding here.
You’re usually rewarded in the end, even if you fail to get what you want.
We all fail, that’s part of the process.
I also think the most successful people probably failed more often than you’ve even tried.
I believe that this actually is true.
I mostly only regret the things I didn’t try.
Not the things I did.
In the end, there’s always something to take away: experience.
Experience to know what not to do, so next time you’re a little bit smarter about it.
And yes, some of us get lucky and are at the right place at the right time. But even in those cases I would argue: they were only there because they tried and showed up in the first place.
The great thing about this, as I mentioned before, is that this is a muscle you can develop.
If you’ve already had 10 difficult conversations at work, the 11th isn’t as scary as the first one was.
Yes, it will remain a challenge. But at some point, you even start actively seeking those challenges because you know there’s something to learn and grow from.
So… be honest with yourself. Approach the situations you dread. Learn to extract knowledge from your failures. And eventually, you’ll have everything you ever wanted.